Chemo Wedneday

Well the day matched the weather. It has been sooooo cold (to us) and rainy, It's the first of March and it's snowing low on the mountains and a cold mist of rain here in the valley. That is so unusual. What happened to global warming?

I bundled up this morning and dragged myself up to treatment. I had the worst week so far of my therapy. My feet were numb and on fire at the same time and every time I tried to walk barefoot (if you know me, you know that's 99% of the time summer or winter) I felt like I was walking on little pebbles or something. The only way I could stand it was to wear my faux UGG boots cause the furry inside felt good. Mostly I just stayed off my feet. I have had problems on the weekends before but this was all week. I was so tired and dizzy and had a headache non stop. By the time sweet Gordy went home for the day I just basically collapsed. I had 0 energy and just could not hang with the Big Dog's. Usually I can always summons super human strength like the Incredible Hulk (who by the way I am starting to resemble in width and girth thanks to all the steroids and sitting around on my ass non stop because my feet are better used as flame throwers than methods of transportation these days) but not this time the heart was willing but that was about it.

So up to therapy I went and when they ran my blood count and the doctor saw the results and my feet he said "no treatment today young lady" ( he's such a schmoozer) My red blood count was so low I was really anemic and he said it would do more harm that good where my feet were concerned. I asked him if we took a week off, would it kill me later and he said "Hardly" ( he may also be a lier as well as a schmoozer) so I high fived him and went over to the nurses and got my line out of my port-a-cath. Doc did give me a temporary handi-cap placards so I didn't have to walk so far with my feet a mess which is going to come in handy as this is race weekend and we will be able to park in handicap at the track. See Cliff just did not know all the super duper neat stuff being with a sick old lady was going to send his way. Now he will be styling with the old folks come Sunday and if he wants we can tailgate and share our prune juice with other Nascar fans of a certain age. HAHA

I shopped for as much energy as I could muster and got new light fixtures for the kitchen and some stuff to strip and re-stain my kitchen cabinets ( I want them a little darker). I have no idea when I will have the energy to take on this task but I always have lofty plans. I was really killing time cause I had an appointment to get eyelashes put on. They look good, not as long as I would have liked but she said she was afraid to go any thicker or longer for fear it would pull out my little nubs and then all the lashes would fall out. So any way I am happy with them and that's that. I look a bit less like a cancer victim.

So things are coming together for the weekend. Hopefully I will be back to shucking and jiving by the weekend, handicap pass in hand, great seats for the race, hopefully no rain on Sunday but it looks like about a 50/50 chance right now. And a good time to be had by all, I am so looking forward to it. I have my checkered flag nail art on, checkered flag bag, checkered flag sunglasses. I am so incredibly weird and gay it is almost cosmic in it's insincerity. I love it!!!!!Other than Rutledge I may be NASCARS #1 fan.

Wet Weekend

Well I made it to the weekend. It was a rough Friday. My treatments seem to be stacking up and Friday was a rough day, really one of the few I have really had. I barely made it till Cha came and got the Gorda. I really needed to get off my feet. That is what bothers me the most. My feet just burn and hurt. All the skin peeled off Nani's feet when she was at this stage but I haven't had to go thru that yet but it would not surprise me as bad as they burned last night. I was miserable. I stayed home from bowling and just sat in my recliner and pouted. I finally got in bed about 9:30 and was a little more comfortable. Cliff got home about 10:30 and we both finally went to bed about 1:00. I was watching an old comedy re-run of Sinbad and he is still soooooo funny. Anyway, when I woke up this morning I was really feeling a lot better. I had a piece of toast and a cup of coffee and now I am up and about shopping on line and watching the news so all is well.

It is suppose to rain all weekend and I am glad. We need to get the weed and feed on the lawn and it has to be wet before we can spread it. The weeds are going crazy already so it is time. The yard is getting green and I planted a pot of flowers and now Gordy and I make a big production of watering them everyday. She is so funny. I put her in big girl panties yesterday and talked to her about telling me she needed to go pee. She immediately started trying to pull them down and then peed her pants. It was so funny. She will get it eventually but as for now she just sits on the potty and grunts real loud then says "all done".

Amber Marie is in town so Cliff is hoping to get his tattoos finished and maybe added to . I hope he gets it done. Every time she is here she has so much BS going on he tends to get pushed to the back burner. I am sure that even though she has not even finished his first piece that she will start 10 new things before she finishes his. I finally told him if it turns into a who-ha we will just go have Donnie finish them in Vegas. I do hope Amber has time today cause Cliff really wants his piece finished.

Looks like we will have a house full over spring break. Cheyenne and Alecia are coming out with Cliff's sister and brother in law, John & Julie and then Greg and David, Cliff's cousins will be here to play golf the same week. Should be fun, hope we have the doors installed by then. I am getting a little tired of Lowe's excuses as to where my stuff is. Supply houses are so maddening. Just one excuse after another. Anyway things are progressing it's just like pushing rocks up hill.

Treat-ment Day

See how It is a treat to go to treatment!! I kind of do enjoy seeing all the friends I have met on Wednesday's it will be strange not to know what's going on with them or how it all turns out. Lot's of nice people and every week I am reminded how lucky I am that it has gone so easy with me. I need to remember to thank God everyday for helping me through this with so much Grace. What a wonderful thing the universe is. I keep reminding myself that "It's all perfect." It is a challenge especially when I think of politics and all the shenanigans. That REALLY gets me and is my biggest challenge not to get angry and cynical and some days I am REALLY angry and cynical and then I have to have a heart to heart talk with myself and remind myself that "it's all perfect" and really none of my business to even have much of an opinion about, better to trust that a higher power of some sort is in control and that that is what faith really is, is just acceptance of "what is" and then playing the scenario out to the finale. The problem is that takes maturity and guts and some days those are in short supply.

I found out from a girl in treatment where to go to have eyelashes attached to my nubs. So I went by today and saw the technician and she said I have enough eyelash nubs for her to do it but she cannot guarantee how long they will stay in cause even the nubs may eventually fall out. But you know me I said go for it so next week when I am done with treatment I have an appointment. So thanks Anna Banana Dodd for suggesting it during your visit, I would not have thought of it otherwise.

Nascar has started and I am loving it. We are going to the Vegas race in a week and a half and I can't wait. I asked the doctors office today to get me a handicap card so we can park in handicap and not have to walk for miles. I have tried to not do the "sick" thing but the way my feet go numb and burn I don't want to hike 2 miles over the rocks which would mean I would have to wear tennis shoes (boo-hiss) instead of cute shoes and as we all know that would never do. So hopefully he will throw down with the handicap card and I can have a reasonable show choice that will not compromise my "white trash shoe collection". Go Gordon..........................................................

Back From the Edge

Well we made the trip to Colorado over the weekend and I can tell you it really kicked my butt. I should have stayed home but I am just too damn stubborn and wanted to see Alecia. We went and stayed with Cliff's cousin Greg and his wife Rhonda and they are sooooooooooo nice and we love them but did not know that they had 4 cats and a dog in the house. I am not really allergic to cats but sensitive and get itchy and kind of a congested. So does Cliff. It was kind of funny, somehow one of the cats got in our bedroom and jumped up on the bed in the middle of the night right in Cliff's face and woke him up. It about scared him silly and I can tell you that cat went flying. Cliff got it out of the room for the rest of the night. It was an experience.

Cliff and Greg worked both days plumbing a bathroom on Greg and Rhonda's rental house and I felt bad cause it was cold and miserable. I am so thankful that I don't have to live anywhere near Co. The energy there reminds me of Idaho and I just HATE it more than I can ever express and if I can ask the Lord for one thing it is that I never have to live in either place or anywhere even remotely like it. I was there two days and was so depressed by the weather and the gray energy of the place I swear I just wanted to cry. It is amazing how much it effects me. Cliff is the same way, he just could not wait to get away from there. I really wish I could understand the aversion. I mean it is so pronounced as to be actually physical. If I had to live in Alaska or somewhere I would probably die. Anyway, we enjoyed the visit but were glad to head home Sunday morning.

It was the Daytona 500 and we listened to it all the way home. and I mean all the way. They stopped it so many times that we were hoping we would make it home to see the last few laps but it ended just as we took the exit for Mesquite. As we pulled into town, it was about 75 degrees and everyone was out jogging in their shorts and I thought Cliff would cry he was so happy to be home.

So today they delivered our new flat screen TV for the bedroom. Happy Valentines Day to us. Cliff mounted it on the wall and it is sooooooo nice and just the perfect size (40inch) for the bedroom. Now I am waiting on my new blinds and doors!!!!! Yeah.

Teddi and Olivia were up over the weekend and so I got to see them both today. Teddi is so skinny the little heifer. I think she said she weights about 120. Wish it was me. Anyway I got lots of kisses from my sweet brilliant Olivia and was so happy to see her face. I wish they could have stayed the afternoon, but Ted had to get home. Hopefully I will get to see Olivia more if Teddi actually does move out here. (She is talking about it). Olivia told me she had to go home and do her homework. AS smart as she is I think she does.

Bedroom Drama

Well, we got the bedrooms torn apart and painted and that about killed us both. Neither one of us is used to doing anything but sitting on our butts, so we were sore.
Then Wednesday, I had to go to treatment and Cliff stayed home to wait on the carpet layers. They were late but got here about 2:30 and Cliff said they had the carpet laid in about 45 minutes. I hated to miss it cause that was one of the things I loved when I had Davis Construction was watching the carpet layers. It is such an art. But I digress. After they had it laid Cliff called me at treatment and said "the carpet is completely the wrong color. It doesn't match the paint color at all.: I about fainted. I mean I had gotten carpet samples and matched it to the wall color and mind you the carpet I picked was NOT the carpet that Cliff wanted. But my pick was a better grade carpet and a more feminine ( mine had a sculpted sort of leaf pattern cut in the pile while his was a checked design cut in the pile with a little touch of color in the square. The wall color is sort of a khaki brown and Cliff said the color of the carpet was translating to a gray with an under tone of purple. I was just sick as I am VERY particular about making sure the carpet and wall color is in the same color family so that it just sort of creates a background for the room decor and doesn't fight with the theme or draw the eye away creating tension in the room. So all the way home I was just fuming. I mean since I have been on chemo I screw up everything I touch. I can't cook, I can't think, I lose everything, I mean I can barely go anywhere by myself that I don't lose my keys or purse of something. It is really crazy , this stuff really interferes with your thought process. So by the time I got home I was resigned to

1. Buying new carpet AGAIN.
2. Stopping all work on the house till I was finished with treatment.
3. Bawling
4. Peeing my pants while repeating above.

When I pulled up in front of the house Cliff has a left over piece of the carpet laying on the carport and when I saw it it looked fine, just a hair darker than the wall color, When I saw it, he must of saw the look on my face because he said, " I know, it looks like the right color but in the house, NO". So in the house we go and the minute I saw it, I could see what he was saying. It was weird. In the sun light that came thru the window, it was the right color, but in the natural light it changed hue just a hair. But, I knew once we had all the furniture in and the rooms dressed ( you know like theatre set dressing) that it would be OK. Only two anal retentive construction Huns like us would have even noticed. So the day was saved and the rooms look beautiful. I will take a picture when the new window covering and new interior doors come in next week and it if finally really done. Goes to show that you would think I had lived long enough not to panic over something so unimportant, but as you can see, the maturing process continues!!!!

We are going to Colorado this weekend for Cliff to help his cousin Greg with a plumbing project. He must really like his cousin because he is missing the Daytona 500 to help him and I didn't think he liked anyone that much. Ya learn something new everyday. It should be fun as I really like Greg and Rhonda . Plus I will get to see my Alecia. Cliff is going to be busy so the says he doesn't want to get Cheyenne and upset her for such a short time, but we will see. I really want to see her too. So it's off to the cold country tomorrow and back on Sunday!!

Bedroom Remodel

Well we have been repainting and re carpeting our bedrooms and have everything drug out and piled in the great room and office. We look like an episode straight off ""Hoarders". The only difference is that I am better organized and have a knack for decorating so mine looks like "home decor" instead of the collected junk it is. Gabrielle and Tony have been helping us and that has been fun. We gave Gabbi a roller with no sponge and she just painted to her hearts content. Mima did get paint on Gabbi's cute pants but that was the only causality. Tony was a lot of help and Cliff and he had fun. They will be here with the hew carpet about 11:00. I have treatment today so with any luck it will be finished when I get home and we can put things back together. Neither Cliff or I can abide clutter and mess so we are ready to get it back to "home"

They (Cliff and Tony) had gone to Vegas earlier in the day to Tony's guitar festival. It was held at Las Vegas High School which is right off Fremont Street so I told Tony, Now you can tell everyone you "played Vegas" See it's always how you frame it and then you ""fake it till you make it." He had to have a Michael Jackson hat, black shirt with a red tie and a glove and the whole thing. Anyone one who knows Tony knows that from the time he was a baby you did not get him up and get him dressed, you got him up and he decided "who" he would be that day and then you "costumed" him. And I mean full regalia. If he was a cowboy then it was chaps and boots and spurs and hat everything! He was so funny and still is.

Well, I better go get ready to go to the doctor, One more treatment under my belt Yeah

New Orleans Saints Yeah Hell Yeah

Well it rained all weekend but I did get to see my sweet Olivia and Gordy. Charlee, Tony and I took the girls to Mc Donalds for lunch on Saturday and then to Walmart. They were so good. Tony is such a good boy he climbed in the play land and was so sweet to the little girls, they just love their Tone Tone. They are getting to be really big girls. Then Cha took them home for a nap.

Cliff and I watched the ARCA race. Danica Patrick did a good job and finished 6th. It was a really good race. Then we watched the Budweiser shoot-out and really enjoyed it. We are so glad that NASCAR season is here, we have about had it with regular TV; now we can break it up with racing. We got our tickets for the Vegas race last week so we are set. Hope I don't feel like crap, even if I do, I am going. I think I will ask Dr D for a temp handicap for parking. That way I won't have to walk so far at the end of the day with my numb feet. Hey I might as well get something out of this HA

Superbowl was sooooooooooooooooooo cool. I was just crazy for the Saints to win and had so much fun watching the game. Charlee brought the girls over and they were so cute. They were punching their little fists up in the air chanting, Go Saints, go Saints. Then Olivia said "Go Vikings" (her Daddy's team) and we all laughed. Then she said, "Mom says, Go Cowboys." We like to brain wash them early. Anyway, it was such a good game and all I could think was how excited Harry Connick Jr must be that Drew Brees won, How cool is that. Makes me want to go to Mardi Gras.

Lazy Week

Went for treatment on Wednesday and it went really smooth. I completely lost my taste for Wednesday and Thursday so you would think that I'd just stop eating as everything tasted like chewing up sawdust, but no I just keep trying to find something that tastes good with no results. Today it was a little better, but not much. My feet are numb and I drop everything I touch but I don't feel too bad. Whoever said that the Taxol was milder than the earlier therapy is nuts. This crap is wild and western.

It has been sunny most of the week but today it is overcast and it's suppose to start raining tonight and rain all weekend. I am disappointed as Teddi is bringing Olivia out for Charlee to watch and we were going to take the girls to the park but now it's suppose to rain so maybe we will take them to McDonald's or something. Anyway, I am going to try to relax this weekend as next week we are tearing both bedrooms apart and painting and getting new carpet and interior doors for the house. I cannot wait to get it done but it will kick my butt in the process. Cliff will have to do most of the painting as I cannot reach up too high. I can do most of the cut in work and maybe some rolling but not much I imagine. I have new window blinds ordered too so then this part of the house will be done and he can start on the addition of the family room. It will be nice to have something to do as we are both about to die of boredom. How the hell people stay home and don't work is beyond me. It is the most boring thing I have ever tried to do and I cannot wait to go back to work doing about anything.

So we are going bowling tonight and that will get us out of the house and be fun. There is only two or three weeks left of the season and then league is over. Luckily Nascar season starts this weekend also so that will be a fun diversion. I can fill up a lot of time watching the Nascar stats and be happy!! HAHA