Boob B Gone

Well, today is the 9th day after surgery and I feel really good. I have been so blessed with great surgeons, a great family, and wonderful friends. We went in yesterday and Dr Wintch took out all but 3 staples and also removed my drains. That was a great relief as they kind of pulled and were a pain in the butt. I can raise my arm a little bit and it's not nearly as numb as it was, all in all everything is good. The pathology reports were good and so we are looking to the future to get to the next step.

If y' all ever questioned weather your prayers are answered, look no further than me. The surgery that they thought would take 8 hours was accomplished in under 4. They had to remove one lymph node that was under my collar bone and in order to do so they had to remove a piece of one rib. The lymph node sits right on your mammary artery and also on the sack that surrounds your lungs. They called in a heart surgeon to assist in removing it and were quite nervous about it. I could sense every time the talked about it that it was definitely a concern to them. After the surgery Dr Wintch said that when they went it, they got it on the first try with out puncturing my lung or the artery. I feel infinitely lucky\blessed about everything. I am healing great and my spirits are really good. Still a little tired, but getting more energy every day. Before the surgery Cliff's Dad and Mom knelt down and Cliff's' Dad offered one the most heart felt prayers I have ever heard on my behalf. They drove all the way from Colorado with Cliff's brother Les for the surgery and I appreciate and love them so much.

I have to thank Mom and my girls for all their work and support. They were champs from driving me to the doctor to , staying at the hospital 24-7 with me, to the aftermath of nursing and secretarial duties. What a wonderful gift to have such women in my life. Toby called constantly and I know he would have come if needed. Traci and Alecia called almost everyday and I love them both so much. We did not even tell Cheyenne as we felt she was too young to understand and it would just scare her. Also to all of our family members who called, sent cards, prayers, flowers, and books, thank you forever for your love.

Now to Clifford. If there is a more perfect man on this planet, I don't know who he is. If any of you have missed it, I am 18 years older than Cliff (I know blah, blah, blah age doesn't matter) But the first thing you start to question when you lose a part of what makes you so uniquely feminine is, will I still be desirable, will I still be who I was, will IT be the same. Then throw in the insecurity of age, and the fact that your body has just been forever altered, and not in a attractive way, and you can see the head trip that can happen. I tell you I was terrified for Cliff to see the wound site. I was afraid of his reaction and how it might make him feel. I even resisted him seeing it initially. I don't know if I was just trying to prolong it, or what but I can tell you what ever my idea was, he changed that. He got right in there and was the first one to see it. In fact helped the doctor change the bandages, and with real sincerity in his voice said, "It's not that bad baby, you are gonna be pleased." It sure made it easier for me to take that first look. He has been there for me every minute and has been a rock even when I could see he was scared, he was there when they took me to surgery and made me promise that I would come back, he was there when the girls crashed and burned and held them when they cried. He was there for the grand kids explaining it to them and telling them Mima was gonna be OK. And he has cooked, cleaned, washed, mowed, shuttled, shopped, and nursed and looked damn fine and sexy every step of the way.

Last night we celebrated by our first night out. I was a little nervous as the stuffed boob isn't quite the same (HA). But we had a real good time. Randy Andersen's band was at the Virgin River and we got there early to get a seat (a little aside, I can't see how they are so popular, they are not that good but just pack that place) We only danced a couple slow dances, I was OK but Cliff was so nervous that someone would bump me and hurt me) Cliff had a few beers while I stuck to ginger ale. He finally broke last night and told me how scared he had been and how relieved he was that I was so much better. He said, "when they took you out of there to go to surgery, all I could think of is, how will I make it if she doesn't come back. How will I live without my best friend ?" I can tell you I have never felt so much love from a man. He is a giant and I thank God every day for him and all our kids. That my friends is a blessing beyond comprehension.