You Dreamer , You

Well today is the 10th day since I started chemotherapy. That means sometime between today and day 14 my hair should start to fall out. So, because I am nuts, I got up this morning and gave myself a haircut (trim) so my hair would not be hanging in my eyes. I thought it was so funny because it will probably all fall out tonight but what's a girl to do. This is me after the haircut and maybe the last photo before I change my name to Bob Basora. I am trying to imagine this old face with a bald head and I just can't see it yet. It won't be long before I WILL be able to imagine it cause it will be staring at me when I look in the mirror. I keep wondering if Cliff can really love me this much and just seem to not let any of it bother him, or is he the worlds greatest actor. He is just amazing. In my heart I know it must affect him (my physical changes) but I look in his eyes and there is not a hint of difference. Would it change things for me if it were him? No, absolutley not but my insecurities are what they are and so I still wonder.

I have finally figured out how my anti anxiety med's work and I am sleeping a little better. I find if I take them in the early afternoon and then have a quiet afternoon, I can relax enough to go to sleep. It's a balancing act when you have antifreeze running in your veins to make your body do what it just normally knows how to do. I swear I am not complaining, it has not been that bad. I have had it easy compared to most. It's just I am so sensitive to my body that I try to fine tune things I think.

Rick Champion called me yesterday (old friend and Claiborne's bass player from the past). It was so nice to talk to English Rick. I cannot believe all us old musicians have kept in touch all these years. How does a boy from Mo, a girl from SC, a guy from London, and and old country girl from NV find each other and then follow that musical thread all these years? I love all you guys and appreciate your friendship. When we get back from Texas I want to get Tony and take him to meet Rick and hear his band (Tony Marques Band). They are playing at Harrah's at Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and kids can be in the club till they stop serving food at 11:00 pm, so I really want Tony to see them. Tony is really getting good on his guitar but it comes so easy for him he takes it for granted and doesn't realize he really has a gift. Cliff and I are trying to inspire him so he doesn't put it down, I mean "You too can learn 100 songs and ruin your life!!!" HA

Well, I better go. I have to start making chili and getting ready for the big Halloween party. The kids will be here sometime this morning. Everyone have a safe, spooky, fun Halloween. I have decided when the hair starts falling out to shave it and I WILL post pictures of the scarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry scene!